Jamaine and I were watching TV when she suddenly blurted out,
“Mommy, si tabachingching andiyan sa baba kanina…”
“Sino si tabachingchng?” I had to cut her story short as alarm bells rang in my head.
“‘Yung neighbor…”
“Baby, hindi tabachingching ang pangalan niya. Did you ask her name?”
“Hindi po.”
“Then next time, ask her what her name is so that when you see her, you can call her by her name.”
“Okay Mommy.”
How do you explain “respect” to a two year old? I figured Jamaine must have heard her yaya calling the neighbor by that moniker and thought it was okay to call her that. I had to remind the yayas to be careful about what they say around the kids.
These monikers may seem harmless but this is where teasing and name calling begins, something that both children and adults do. Kids playing on the street teasing a less active playmate as “payatot” or “lampa” is just the same as adults backstabbing a colleague as “ass-kisser” or “stupid.” They both hurt feelings.
I’m pretty sure my daughters will encounter this when they go to school and it can’t be helped if they encounter kids who do it. But I will definitely make sure they are neither on the teasing nor receiving end. I want them to learn how to always respect other people.
Kids do it
I remember back in school, I knew this beautiful girl who had shiny brown hair and light brown eyes. The thing was, she had eczema that caused her skin to flake and psoriasis which dotted her hair with dandruff. Her family wasn’t really well off so she couldn’t get an eczema treatment and she could only use a medicated shampoo a few times because it hurt her scalp. People thought she had poor hygiene.
I did feel a bit awkward at first when I met her. It was the first time I met somebody who had those conditions. But I would still hang out with her because she a really nice person andmI knew what she had wasn’t contagious. I just felt bad because she had to endure the teasing for something that wasn’t her fault.
Adults do it too
Even at work, among the world of supposedly mature adults, it still happens. People calling an acne – troubled person “pimple na tinubuan ng mukha” or an overweight person “sumo wrestler.” I’m not washing my hands clean, I admit I may have called some people names before during joking sessions or laughed along with people who teased other people before. Yes, they could be funny. But that doesn’t change the fact that they hurt feelings.
I’m no psychologist but I figured maybe we feel some kind of power over other people when we call them names or we feel as though we’re better than them in some way. But really, we’re not.
But we don’t have to
And if we’re the ones on the receiving end, it would definitely be not funny, wouldn’t it? That’s why I always try to be cautious about what I say, especially now that I have kids who need me to be a good example.
I can only control what they watch on TV and the way the yayas deal with them to some degree. And although I can’t censor what other people do or say, I can only arm them with solid values and good judgment that will help them respond to these situations in the best way.
What’s your take?
