Are you trapped?

trappedShe was ashamed to admit it but she knew she just had to come out of the trap she created for herself if she wanted to be free.

She was leading a secret life as a gambler.

What made it so hard for her to confess was the fact that she wasn’t some high stakes roller who spent thousands in casinos and checked in high-class reno hotels.

She was a mom who managed the family budget for groceries, rent and the children’s tuition. She was ashamed because she almost jeopardized her family’s life just to satisfy her addiction.

After losing thousands of dollars in a gambling flop, she finally realized she was going on a downward spiral and she needed to stop before she hit rock bottom.

I was reading Oprah’s archives when I stumbled on this mom’s story. It made me think how many people actually lead secret lives and trap themselves in their mistakes

Whether it’s a little secret, a deep-seated addiction or a horrific skeleton hidden in the closet, all of us have done some things we surely can’t be proud of. We’ve all had those moments when all we can say to ourselves is “Why did I hell did I do that?”

During my “dark ages,” I used to beat myself up over mistakes I’ve made and wallowed over what I should have done. Then it was much easier to deal with the shoulda-woulda-coulda’s than to forgive myself and move on.

But then I saw the trap I was setting up for myself. And I knew that if I wanted to come out, I was the only one who can set myself free.

As Oprah put it, “You are not your mistake, you made a mistake.” And there’s a whole world of difference between the two.

When I came to accept that I was imperfect and my mistakes do not sum up who I am, I found peace with my past and shut the door behind me.

There was no turning back, I looked forward and walked into freedom.

Do you need to come out of a self-created trap?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

rach May 13, 2008 at 11:18 pm

work-wise, I always have this issue about accepting my mistakes.

Just recently, I have discovered some of my booboos at work and I know, like I always do, I took it by heart. I blame myself a lot.

Sort of telling myself – I should have done this… or that… it takes time before I accept the fact that I made the mistake.

I don’t see myself as a perfectionist but it brings me down A LOT!

rachs last blog post..Stop the Questions

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Jayme May 14, 2008 at 5:44 pm

I understand what you mean. I used to waste a lot of my time just thinking about what I should have done. But eventually, if you focus on looking forward, you’ll learn that it’s much better to spend your time moving on and, if possible, making things right. Admitting your mistake is good because then you can take responsibility for your actions, but punishing yourself by piling on the self- blame won’t really help you. Just always try to be proactive and positive too. :)

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