It’s 11 pm but my baby Jamaine’s eyes remain wide open and she shows no signs of sleepiness.
I lie down next to her on the bed and close my eyes. Maybe if I pretend to sleep, she’ll sleep too.
Jamaine flips to her stomach and crawls closer to me. Peeking from one eye, I could see she was staring up at me. I pretend not to react and stay still.
She puts her hand on my face and makes a small whining sound. I do not react.
She slaps harder and whines. I do not react still.
Sensing my indifference, she whines continuously.
I couldn’t stand letting her cry so I stop my sleeping act and pick her up.
She seems satisfied and sucks at her thumb. I walk around the room trying to put her to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jamaine whines again. Looking at the clock, I see it is almost mealtime so I put her down and fix her a bottle of milk. She refuses to take it though and whines again.
I pick her up and sing her favorite lullaby but the whining continues.
What is wrong?
It is past 12 midnight, I heave a sigh of frustration and notice my hand slightly tightening into a grip around her leg.
I am slowly losing my patience. I am tired and I want to sleep but I can’t sleep while my baby’s still awake.
Sigh.
Is this scene familiar to you?
Losing patience
As Jamaine grows and learns her needs and wants, I’ve been experiencing some real tests to my patience.
I love my baby but sometimes love tends to take a bit of a backseat when I’m tired, sleepy and desperate to hit the sack.
I am learning everday that taking care of a baby definitely is a challenging experience.
Sometimes you are pushed to your wit’s end trying to figure out what ails them and how to comfort them.
You get frustrated at their incapacity to communicate what they need and at your own incapacity to understand.
It’s so easy to get carried away with the situation and become irritated or impatient. But of course, succumbing to that doesn’t help at all.
What to do?
1. Always put things in perspective.
If the baby’s whining, then it means she’s not feeling okay about something. Imagine what it’s like when you feel something wrong and you can’t get your message across, won’t you be fussy too?
Babies will cry until they learn how to speak and you can’t expect them to keep quiet just because you want them to.
2. Close your eyes, take deep breaths and keep calm.
I notice that my baby is very perceptive. Even if I don’t say anything, she reacts to how I feel at the moment. When I get tense, she tenses up too. But when I radiate a sense of loving calm, she calms down too.
Another technique I use to calm myself down: I hum a relaxing tune I heard from a meditation CD and use it as Jamaine’s lullaby. After a few repetitions, Jamaine picks up on the relaxing vibe and falls asleep.
3. Visualize your happy baby.
I always keep a mental photograph of Jamaine’s smile. On her fussy days, it reminds me that she is actually a happy baby who happens to have mood swings (doesn’t everybody have it?)
Oftentimes, she returns to her happy baby state when I give her space to be her moody self.
4. If all else fails, hand the baby over.
We are human after all, and there will really be times when we’ll lose our patience. But just when you sense it happening, hand the baby over to your husband, your caregiver or other people in the family who can offer loving arms while you collect yourself.
It helps to relieve yourself of the fussy situation for a little while and pull yourself together. Walk around the house, punch a pillow, drink some water, eat chocolate, do something to release that negative emotion.
Before you take back your baby, make sure you’re feeling better. Chances are the baby will grow tired ahead of you and fall asleep soon enough.
This night too shall pass
Oftentimes, when we are having a rough night, I always remind myself that I only need to stretch my patience a little longer and exert effort a little harder. It won’t be long when the night will finally pass. It always does.
When my baby is peacefully sleeping next to me, I kiss her on the forehead and whisper, “I love you so much.”
Then I close my eyes smiling, looking forward to wake up to a bright and sunshiney day.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
i don’t know what to say but you are right with your no. 2 and 4.
since i was already old enough to take care of my youngest sister, I understand the frustration and all that. I was like her second mother… and the funny thing is, ako lang ang nakakapagpatulog sa kanya! hahaha…
i hope i’d be patient with my baby too in case…
That scene is oh so familiar to me. Not that I actually took care of a baby late in the evening, but I see my sister-in-law do it a lot. After the same thing happening over and over again, she found out a way to actually make the baby listen.
Cheer up, it’s an opportunity for you to get to know your baby more, and vice-versa.
Oh, and another thing, while trying to keep calm, try counting from 1 to 10.. If the patience is still thin, count to 100.
I hope this helps.
hehe this used to be me a few months ago. we’re thankfully past the stage where she wakes up in the middle of the night to ask for milk.
so yes, jayme, this too shall pass.
sometimes nga when mia’s too fussy to go to sleep at night, tinutulugan ko nalang sya. hehe. you know what’s weird about some babies? (and mia’s like this also) they tire themselves out right before they go to sleep at night, by playing around. for mia it’s laughing, squealing and kicking around like crazy
I can’t relate.
Hahaha!!!
Maybe someday.
By the way. This will be Jamaine’s first Christmas, right?
What will be your first Christmas present for her?
babies can really be cute and cuddly and they can tickle our heart with nary any effort at all. but they too can be little cuddly monsters who keep us awake during the times we sorely need to rest. yes we have to learn to be patient as they too learn to communicate what they need.
pero alam mo when they grow up and start to act independent like my 10 year old, nakakamiss din yung cuddly but testy stage nilang yan.
@ Rach: It’s good you have some experience taking care of young ones. That will surely help you when you’ve got your own.
@ Dru: Thanks for the tip.
I know it’s more of a challenge for me to really understand my baby. Getting there every day.
@ Ris: I tried this last night…hehe… unintentionally though. Sa sobrang pagod ko, natulugan ko talaga siya. Nung naalimpungatan ako, she was asleep na. Baliktad kasi no? Kung kailan high energy sila, pagod na tayo. Haaay….
@ Papa Ces: Malapit ka nang maka-relate…hehe… You got me thinking about the present. Pag-isipan ko muna.
@ Selvo: You’re right, alam mo naiisip ko rin yan. Darating din ang panahon na ayaw na niya akong katabi pagtulog or hindi na niya ako kailangan para i-hele siya. Kaya iniisip ko na lang, i-treasure ko rin yung ganitong moments namin dahil lilipas din ito.
jayme, tag!
it takes patience…it helps to have someone with you to hand the baby over talaga if you think you need a break.
So true especialy when their teething….
i wanted to thank you for this entry because i have been having horrible nights with my 9 month old recently! he’s teething badly and hits hard at night, hes stuffy with a cough from the teething to top it off and my husband and i have also been getting the feeling that he has night terrors from previous months. i feel like a horrible mother because of the way i’ve been losing my patience. i was up with him 5 times last night, and the first time was the worst because he was just constant constant crying! its heartbreaking but so aggravating at the same time because i haven’t been getting a whole lot of sleep!
so thank you again because you made me feel better knowing that i’m not the only one feeling this frustration because “bad mommy” is the only thing going through my head lately! i will definitely be keeping your tips in mind as well!
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